Why Did God Give Us Fingers?

Fiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnngerrrrrrs. Such a fun word. Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnngerrrrrs. These appendages located at the ends (or starting at, depending on one’s point of view) our hands are often described as long, elegant, strong, calloused, and even sometimes as short and stubby. Unlike their counterparts on our feet which can only be described as short and stubby. Toes – even their names are boring. They are important digits (yet another description) but why do we have them? Felines and canines have paws, birds and some reptiles have talons, aquatic mammals have flippers, fish have fins, but primates such as we humans (or is it us humans?) have fingers. Say it again with me – fiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngerrrrrrrrrrrrrs.

I’m sure scientists could come up with all sorts of reasons why we have fingers but you want to know the real reason? When God first made Man he anticipated that procreation would occur, and human babies, like all others, tend to fuss and holler and generally make a lot of noise. In the animal kingdom those babies are quieted by nursing as it signifies they are hungry. Humans are different. We fuss for all sorts of reasons, one of them is it just makes us feel good – and gets us attention. God, in His infinite wisdom (and probably with some cajoling by His angels) did not want to hear a human baby screaming at the tops of his lungs. So He created fingers – the first sucky thing that shuts up a baby (this is also why we have opposable thumbs – it’s easier to suck an opposable thumb than any other kind).

What I don’t think God really anticipated was the other uses for which we have found our fingers. Once again, using the illustration of a baby, or young child, fingers play an important role in our lives by becoming the first nose cleaner (in other words, booger picker). Remember, Adam and Eve did not have the little aspirators for their kids like we do nowadays so it was a do-it-yourself type of event. Later, fingers became useful for clogging noses with items such as English peas, crayons, beads, coins, and Lord Himself only knows what else. Without fingers children can’t give wet willies, now that would be a travesty.

One purpose God did have for us having fingers though involves His first creations – furry, cuddly, cute critters. Without fingers how would we ever scratch behind the ears of a puppy? Or tickle the belly of a kitten? That’s right – we couldn’t! Without fingers we wouldn’t be able to scratch a pet or even scratch our heads. Speaking of which, that’s another reason we have fingers – to scratch an itch or at dandruff. Shoot, without fingers we couldn’t hold an appliance with which we can scratch our own backs.

And still another important reason we have fingers – how else would we grab hold of the diapers to remove the sticky things that cause them to attach together? Speaking of diapers – when did God ever change one? Was that also part of His Grand Plan? That He would never ever have to change a diaper, and who in their right mind can blame Him? Ewww.

So why do we have fingers? This is just a partial listing of why we have them and if one thought hard and long enough they could probably come up with an almost complete listing for the reason, but I’ll not gross you out with those details. Just remember – fingers are fun for flicking and fun to say and also come in handy for smashing when you don’t have good aim with a hammer. Of course, I don’t recommend smashing your own fingers – but it’s a lot of fun when you smash another’s!

Fingers – a source of entertainment for children (and probably the heavenly hosts) since children were first invented.

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